These last two weeks have felt like two months, but thankfully things are beginning to get on a schedule. With getting up in the am with the two oldest, and feeding at night, I am a zombie. But the last two nights I have only gotten up once, around 12:30 or 1 am and then up for the day around 5:30am. So all in all, I think I can handle this schedule for 5 more weeks before school gets out for the summer.
E. is a champion eater, and thankfully likes taking a bottle. P. would have none of that until 5 months. I am supplementing with formula and this makes mom a happy girl. Nursing has never been my thing. I feel confident that she has gotten the best from what I can give. About half of her diet is formula and the other half is from nature. I plan on keeping this up for the first 6 weeks and then going all formula. Sorry if this is just too much info. but I feel like sometimes as women and mothers, we need to hear about other people's personal choices. They are so personal that we don't share and then we feel like we are the only ones agonizing over certain decisions. If there is anyone else that has felt like this I hope you would want to share too, so we (women) can not feel alone. (after I read this to myself, I am not sure I conveyed the agonzing that I went through, we are talking days of crying... from pain and from emotions)
Ok on to more exciting things. D. graduates in 5 days! yippie, and then off to Chicago for an interview at Northwestern! It will be a hard 3 days without him, but I really hope that it works out the way we want it too. I feel like the Lord has been testing our faith, when it comes to our future, and I pray that in some way our prayers will be answered soon!
E. loves to look at our wall of family pictures, and she smiled at Elmo today on the TV. I think she was on her way to sleep, I would hate to record that her first smile was to a red, high-pitched, little monster, on the tellie no less! She made it up to 7lbs 5 oz at her two week!
P. has been home sick lately (no it's not the swine flu), just a cold. Her teachers are very concerned (thanks to the CDC) and call everyday to hear a list of her symptoms. Poor girl, she is so bored at home, I think she is going back tomorrow, sans green boogers.
H. has been an amazing help to me and to her sisters. She has had her moments, as I have too, but over all she wants to helpful and is playing the "big" sister role very well. I am so proud of her and the amazing girl she is becoming.
As for me.... the drama has been the hormone out of wackness..... I forgot how uncontrollable it is and hard it is not to be right back to your old self. I had it in my head that as soon as the baby came, it would be over. Ohh man did I forget! I keep telling myself 9 months on, 9 months off. This applies to body, life, schedule, and reality. I am looking forward to the summer and less schedule. I just can't think past July.... where are we going, what are we going to do and who will we work/go to school for???
Sorry to blab.
7 comments:
I hear you on the pain and agonizing part of the whole feeding your baby issue. I thought I would share my situations since you implied that you would like a comment. Seriously, don't stress about formula or the breast. What matters most is that your baby is getting fed. She's going to be healthy and fine. You know this...and besides you have to do what you feel is best for you, your baby and your family. If you feel good about your decision you shouldn't sweat it. I remember wanting to nurse so bad just because I have heard so many good things about it and when it came time lets say...things didn't go so well. I felt like everything that could go wrong pretty much did...not to get too graphic but...I guess I will. Angela’s latch got so bad that chapping became bleeding and scabbing and deathly pain. Adam said they looked like little burnt marshmallows (embarrassing). It was awful, but I knew what I wanted and any time I talked to someone about it they told me to hang in there because it would be worth it and it really was. After much trial things were finally going good after 2 months. I know, that's a long time but it was smooth sailing after that and I'm so glad I endured it. Like I said...when you feel strongly that your choice is what's best...you just have to go with it. I'm sure the bottle feeding will be great...just think Hanna could even help feed her. Dude, that's awesome! I hope all goes well...just hang in there...only one more month to go...yay! You can do it!
Hey,
I love you and I think you are amazing! I think it's great to remind yourself that it does take a while to feel like your "old self" again. Man, I feel like I'm just beginning to get there and Alex is 2. Granted, I've had some other things going on, but still---I appreciate the reminder about hormones. Take it one day at a time, enjoy your beautiful family, and take some time for yourself. Love you!
Yikes, I so know the feeling of expecting everything to warp-speed back to normal...and then it doesn't and life feels really crappy and it actually is because you wore yourself out deluding yourself that you were back to pre-prego Wendy only toting a teeny sleepy baby when really, you are freakin' post-partum with three kids and a husband out of town! Take it easy, girlfriend. Lay low, switch to survival mode and don't agonize over things you could do, should do, would do or didn't do, whether it's breastfeeding or dinner at McDonalds for the fifth time in a week. You're wonderful. Great job makin' that baby.
Wendy, I am glad you wrote an update. I miss you so very much, i wish there was something i could do for you, it is times like this where it is so hard to live so far away. Well i hope you know i love you! I am proud of you and you are setting a great example!
A.Kerr
love the details---feeling you on the b.feeding thing. Give it all you have with whatever decision you make---great motto wendy. Thanks. I have similac coupons for $2 off. Whant them? Do you use that? I can round up some from friends too...?
I feel your law school graduation pain. It seems like graduation should be after the bar has been taken and hopefully passed. Chad and I have no idea where we will be after July. I don't even want to think about finding new housing, new daycare, and a new job for me if we have to move far for Chad's career. Good luck this summer!
Wendy....I randomly was blog stalking and found yours through Mandi Wilks...anyway...Congrats on another adorable little girl. I thought I'd leave a comment so you can hear another mom feeling the exact same way! I can totally relate to you with the feeding AND hormone thing. With my third, I felt my hormones were the most out of control. I really had to step back and realize that I wasn't back to emotionally-stable self as fast as I pictured in my head and just allow the bad days to come instead of try to deny that I was hormonal. I had a hard time with this at first because I felt like with my third I should have been the most prepared for what was to come and therefore be able to control it better....but yeah right. If I would just openly admit that I was having a bad day because I couldn't control my hormones,--not because I didn't like being a mommy, or love my new baby-- and kind of 'cry it out' it usually helped. Kyle was amazing with this too because he would recognize i was having a bad day and basically force me to have alone time or go do something for myself. Although i would usually protest every time and try to say I was fine....it always really helped. Also, with my third, after a long and painful decision, I ended up not nursing Calvin at all. Nursing has always been so so hard for me. Trey basically ruined my nipples for life. Not only that, but I kind of feel like the stress and pain and tie-down feeling of nursing made my post-pardum hormones worse. And although the stupid lactation consultant told me that was absolutely not true---for ME it still felt like it. I know if I would have had a better experience with nursing I would have nursed absolutely...I had always pictured myself nursing for months! But unfortunately that's not what happened....but it's okay. My babies are strong and healthy and just fine. I knew that when I had Calvin I wouldn't be able to devote hours and hours to sit and try to get him to latch on correctly and hope he got full and keep him awake for an entire feeding and everything else that requires a lot of time and patience and attention with nursing, because I have two other children that need all my time and attention and help as well. Like I said...I had a hard time deciding this and spent a lot of time crying and praying that I would be okay with it. I talked to my doctor and I remember him saying the pendulum is always swinging with nursing and bottle feeding. But in the end I was okay with it and it really has to be what you can do and what is best for you. I don't know about you, but three kids is way harder then i was expecting. Still so fun..super busy..and i love being a mommy, most the time :)...just hard. I'm sure it has everything to do with mine being so close though. I hope this will give you a little bit of comfort. You're a great mom!
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