we start our mothering careers as rather ordinary looking clay pots with varied shapes and curves, and march directly into the refiners fire.

of course, a fire can either give luster and depth and strength or it can burn and destroy. how well we use the heat is the key.

we can feel the fire making us feel more patient and understanding in spite of ourselves. we can learn to handle the impossible situations with a smile. we can begin to understand the pure love of Christ as we love our husbands and children in spite of their "difficulties". we can learn to expect the inevitable disasters and disappointments of daily living with children.

we have to make very conscious decisions about HOW to remain in a higher realm or dreams become disasters and life lives us instead of vise versa. the fire begins to destroy rather than refine.

-linda eyre

i have let the fire burn and destroy rather than purify and refine. my mothering has come to a pivotal point. i realized that i needed an attitude adjustment. a MAJOR attitude adjustment. this is the main reason i haven't blogged. laziness getting a close second. but really i have been too consumed with trying to figure it all out and change.

i often worry about being too bold or too open with my real feelings in such a public setting. it's so juvenile for me to think 'what will people think' 'what will old high school friends and acquaintances think'
but i decided i am over it. who cares. i am happy with the human being i am becoming. i reserve the right to change my mind, and to see new light. i reserve the right to have an opinion... that's just an opinion. here's to more honesty in the posts to come.

i have been searching for a blog that documents the realities of motherhood. i have enjoyed stumbling across blogs of mother's who have older children. who seem to have figured out how to get all their ducks in a row. but no where have i seen the true and sometimes ugly life of a mom with young kids. probably because well, mom's of young kids are just plain old busy.
and yes my life is busy
i just want someone to commiserate with.



i think i have rambled enough for one day. i will post pictures soon. but really it's too cold to really do much around here so there won't be many

updates to come...